Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Vote for the Best Introduction

This might not seem right but these are two introductions that I wrote in my class, and I need you to tell me which one is better so I can use it in my story I am going to write about my easter holiday. The first one starts straight away on the action and the second introduction is telling you about my thoughts or feelings.

“WOOO HOOO” I said, as I came speeding down the slide with my cousin. I was at the Waiwera Pools for my 2011 Family Reunion. We had to do things like perform items, play games, and we had lots of food, which was probably the best part for me.

I had seen lots of pictures of Waiwera Pools and it looks very cool, the thing was, is that I knew that nearly everybody in my family has been there, but me. We went there for our 2011 Family Reunion which was exciting for me.... and well every one else in my family.

Please comment below to vote

1 comment:

  1. That's a tough decision, I think both introductions hook me in.
    However, I can identify with everyone in your family having done something except you. That has happened to me several times, when my brother have all done something, and I feel like I've missed out.
    So... I am voting for paragraph 2. I know how you felt, and that drew me in to your recount just a little more that the first introduction.
    Great writing Crusader.
    Miss Garden


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